To Hire Or Not: The Indonesian Maid, Two to Three Maids in Almost Eight Years, Tips, Advice, Insight

I read a facebook comment relating to maid issues and was immediately inspired to write this post.

Some of my friends mentioned they have had nine maids in the past nine years and another, had 3 maids in the past four years. 

For most working couples, having a live in maid is almost a neccessity. 

The truth is, I hate household chores. I hate ironing, I hate washing the dishes, I hate sweeping the floor, I hate cleaning the toilet, I hate doing the laundry...yes, you get the picture. So when we came back to Malaysia for good some nine years ago, the first I did was sign up for one of those luxuries we Malaysians take for granted known as the "Indonesian Maid".

Not really. That preceding paragraph is meant to be cynical, in case anyone missed that. 

My two eldest children were born while we were still working and pursuing our postgraduate studies in Ireland. We were lucky enough (from a certain perspective) to have a family member come all the way from Malaysia to help look after the kids when we were at work. Since she was my late sister-in law, we did not need to worry about synchronizing our on-calls like some of my friends had to as muslims of opposite gender are not allowed to stay under the same roof for the night unless married or related.

When we came back, my late SIL continued to look after the kids, but after some time decided she wanted to return to her hometown, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise as she fell ill a few years later and passed away. It was during this time that we were left with no other choice but to hire our first Indonesian Maid. 

Up to that point, the only experience I had was as a child, my late dad worked and my mum took care of us. She cooked, cleaned, sent us to and fro from school, but we had a few helpers come in from time to time to mop the floor, iron the clothes, and help clean the house. We never had a live in maid. 

My other SIL, was the other person we knew who had an actual live in maid, apart from a few other friends. They did encourage us to hire one.

When we first came back, I took time off from work to settle in. We moved to a town which was away from both families, and the kids were still small. I got bored and decided to get a job. So we had to hire someone when my late SIL left. 

My sister who recently got married was pregnant and already had a maid. Her MIL had many years of experience employing maids and so we got the number of the agent and requested one. The office was somewhere in Puchong. They were quite efficient as I remember. We received an email with a few different profiles, pictures included with brief description of each candidate. 

I did not know this back then, so I selected one which I first felt inclined towards. Just one of those hunches that is hard to describe. She 

TBC

Pendidikan Seks Untuk Anak-anak

Pendapat peribadi saya tentang pendidikan seks untuk anak-anak zaman sekarang adalah sangat perlu, dan ibubapa merupakan antara 'cikgu' atau guru yang terbaik untuk 'mengajar' subjek ini.

• *Intellectual conversations*Child: Mummy, what does 'pregnant' mean? Mummy: (Jaw dropped and paled for a few seconds thinking, "and the moment has finally arrived", where are my notes again?! After a few seconds of awkward silence and regaining of composure)...That just means there are babies in the mummy's tummy.Child: How do we know if the mummy hamster is pregnant? Mummy: (Phew, wiping forehead...)...That's easy, just look at the tummy and see if the hamster is getting fat.Child: Is fat the same as pregnant? Mummy: Of course not, fat means the whole hamster is big, pregnant means only the tummy is big. *God I hope this is right. Better change the topic NOW*.

  • MB Haha ! Pregnancy ed from obs dr to her 6 y.o. I just show her pictures from my embryology book.. Got sperm goes into eggs then slowly become baby in uterus. She now know baby never in the tummy but uterus.. Why is it again only girls get pregnant ?
    Daughter: because only girls got uterus!
    Dad : so How not to get Pregnant ?
    Daughter : stay away from those sperms
    
    There u go straight up!!!
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  • That started when she knew she was from c section then ? Why other baby did not have c-s. how do they come out.. Also got to explain when she why dr like me cut someone tummy.. ? The food going to come out then? So in my head this is getting to complicated subsequently I decided hmmmm let's go and learn some anatomy and physiology ..Then when it's start to be OD of info she stop asking !! Wuhoo success!
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  • NSYAJ: Yup. MB is right about that. The simpler you make it the more questions they have. So now when my kids ask me questions I just give them an adult version of explanation. And the questions stops kinda fast on some topics hehe
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    Me: Same, I got a straight forward answer from my mum, I still remember it today :D

    
    
  • NHMN i dont remember asking this question when i was a kid..
  • MK: Kids learn things fast. They are curious in almost everything. They need proper guidiance to follow the right path.
  • AAMA: My nightmare. My girls know about childbirth already but not how the baby gets into the uterus
  • NB thanx Mazlyn, for open up the topic, I always been ask the question too...hmm, now will use B's answer...

    
    
  • RK OOps ,I thought this is what we call providing wrong meaning or information which the child needs to correct in later stage .!

    
    
  • RB Hmm...how does baby get in mummy's tummy eh.? Err can I use Allah put it there line for now?
  • EH hahaha! my daughter actually thought out loud after an explanation of pregnancy which began with fertilization of the ovum 'hmmm i wonder how the sperm got there...?" mummy expertly ignored the question, of course, and was immensely relieved when the subject was not further pursued
  • NNAZ Hah now I remember how my twins learned the words scrotum! It all started from this kind of conversation! First they learned uterus as special pot only in the females then the sperm bits which led to scrotum which they fell in love absolutely the first moment they heard it and repeated so they memorised it between hysteria of laughter! Then they asked me how the sperms get to the uterus that was when I paused for 2 seconds and said in a tone of voice that concluded this conversation was ending right after this sentence. ....you will learn that when you are old enough and mature enough to handle this kind of information. .....hows that sound MB?
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  Macam ni lah reaksi kebanyakkan ibu bapa bila ditanya oleh anak-anak tentang mengandung, bayi datang dari mana dan sebagainya. Kebanyakkan kita segan silu, cuba untuk mengelakkan perbincangan tersebut dan memberi jawapan samar-samar.
• Lama juga saya menunggu selepas tu untuk anak tanya, tapi mereka tak tanya pun. Maka satu ketika umur anak-anak antara 10-12 tahun, saya duduk-kan mereka dan mula bercerita tentang bagaimana bayi terhasil. Saya menggunakan bahasa yang mudah yang mereka fahami. Mengapa saya berbuat demikian? 
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• Sebab pandangan peribadi, anak-anak perlu tahu, perlu ada ilmu tentang hubungan seksual antara lelaki dan perempuan, tapi tidak lah detail mana. Saya menerangkan tentang sperma dan ovum atau telur, uterus atau rahim wanita. 
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• Lagi satu sebab saya rasa lebih baik beritahu dari mereka bertanya contoh dikhalayak ramai atau pada masa yang kurang sesuai untuk kita jelaskan, atau kita sendiri belum bersedia untuk menerangkan.
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• Bila umur anak-anak meningkat remaja boleh la kita ceritakan tentang kaedah merancang keluarga, penyakit yang berjangkit melalui hubungan seks, jenayah seperti rogol, sumbang mahram dan lain-lain yang berkaitan. Saya sering menggunakan berita atau isu semasa sebagai "pembuka" topik dan perbincangan.
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• Pandangan peribadi saya, ibubapa adalah sumber maklumat terbaik tentang ilmu dan pendidikan seksual. Kita mahu anak bertanya kepada kita dari orang lain, dan biarlah mereka mendapat maklumat yang tepat. 
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• Untuk anak-anak yang masih kecil contoh baru belajar bercakap, yang terbaik adalah untuk mengajar mereka tentang "sentuhan selamat" dan "sentuhan tidak selamat".

Harap penulisan ini membantu...

Strategy

Now that advertising is complete, its time to return to my MBA exam prep/online discussion.

Earlier today I was looking for a definition of strategy. 

What is strategy? 

The lecturer has provided 'three foundation writers' and I like these:

Porter: "competitive strategy is about being different. 

It means deliberately choosing to perform activities differently or to perform different activities than rivals to deliver a unique mix of value".

This one is good too: Hamel and Prahalad (1990) "the essence of strategy lies in creating tomorrow's competitive advantages faster than competitors can mimic the ones you possess today".

And this is why I love MBA: Sun Tzu 'The art of war'; the smartest strategy in war is the one that allows you to achieve your objectives without having to fight. 

Plastic Surgery, Cosmetic Surgery, Perception, Truth

"My husband is a plastic surgeon".

You know the scene. Wedding. Reunion. Seminars. You meet someone new. Genuine small talk. Standard questions; where are you from, what do you do for a living, oh you're married/have children, is your husband a doctor too? Up until that point, conversation is very polite and low-key.

Then comes all kind of comments, some positive, some funny, and some not very ...flattering, depending on your point of view.

Flashback: I remember one lecture in medical school, I honestly can't recall what the title was, but we were thought not to react or show our emotions when the patient reveals things that are unpleasant or shocking, because we do not want to discourage the patient from telling us the truth that might help in their treatment.

Back to the conversation with the new friend. "Well', I tell the new friend, "that's cosmetic surgery. My husband doesn't do any of that. His patients are mainly cancer patients, people who've had their limb or finger injured or cut off and patients who have burns".

Then comes that moment where you see a change in perspective, a change in paradigm, happening right before your eyes. "Oh I see". The new friend says, almost apologetically. "I didn't know that". Sometimes, they are genuinely disappointed because they were hoping for some discounted cosmetic surgery. Other times, the conversation heads into "what reconstructive surgeons actually do" and "what its like to be married to a surgeon". Definitely more interesting than "life as a lecturer" or "life as a non-plastic surgeon doctor".

I can hear readers thinking, what is the point of this status update again? Is it to tell everyone what my husband does for a living? Of course not. Now that I have your attention, the point I'm trying to make is this; it's all a matter of perception.

Perception is our viewpoint of the world, the map that we hold and believe to represent reality. Reality, on the other hand, is the actual world itself. (I think I first read about this in the book 'Seven habits'). I have come to know a lot of people have perceptions about what plastic surgery is, and I can't blame them. If I was not married to one, I wouldn't have a clue either. All I would know is what I had seen on tv, read in the papers, heard on the news etc.

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• AAMA: I want to continue the first sentence.. "my husband is a plastic surgeon, a darn good one!" Hhahaha... way to go Kak M!!

  
  
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  MM LOL thanks; yeah I have his friends telling me he was a brilliant and gifted student back in high school. I said that's why I married him. Anyways, he is still brilliant and gifted, just as a plastic and reconstructive surgeon now :)

  
  
• CB: the next thing they might ask: Do i get a discount? :D

  
  
•  Me: since you asked; NO :P

  
  
• MS hihihi...woi, pi tulis novel la..dramatic sungguh!

  
  
• Me: memang nak tulis (insya Allah). I want at least 1000 pre-booked orders. Your name first?

  
  
•  MS hihii...I support! kalo best, kita wat telenovela plak..

  
  
•  I have a friend TV producer...sure boleh punye :)

  
  
• MS I reckon if you insert my character, sure lagi top..watak antagonist..!!

  
  
•  Can. I give you small role as best supporting actor LOL dun worry

  
  
• NB soo...the title of the novel will be..." I'm married to a plastic surgeon", then mine will be "I'm married to a painter"...hahaha our husband better be good to us....kihkihkih

  
  
• Me: you are writing one too?
• NB maybe, one day..one full blue moon...yelah tu...right now supporting u..ok,..keep it up!

  
  
• HH Deja vu. Thought i've read this before. What happened to the old post?

  
  
•  a friend asked me to remove it

  
  
• HH Really? Why? What's so controversial about it? But u repost it. Cuma the comments at the bottom are different now.

  
  
• Me: I removed the part as requested :) Honoring friendship :) If my boss ask me to edit, I resign LOL

  
  
• HH Ok, notice the difference now. Hmmm......it's just FB post.

  
  
• MM Wait, my next post I write on radiologist ;) LOL

  
  
• HH Interventional radiologist - that's more challenging. Half surgeon, half neurologist, 150% radiologist

   Try clinical epidemiologist.
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• IB What about "Oh, my husband is an orthopaedic surgeon; he is very good at fixing shelves etc at home"
  (Me, orthopod by trade)

  
  
• HH Husyairi.......didn't know u're a friend of MM. What a small world. By the way....tu mcm ayat bodek ASM

  
  
• IB Or, "my husband is a vascular surgeon; he can sort your plumbing out"

  
  
• BK U write so well, maz. Time u start writing seriously, gal.

  
  
• APS Looking forward, "The Plastic Surgeon's Politician Wife"...

  
  
• 

  MM Uncle APS; :P I will add your name in the prebook order list ya

  
  
• Thanks BK, does that mean you will buy my book? ;)

  
  
• MN Pemenang status bertaraf novel...hihihi

  
  
• Me: IB you seem obsessed with DIY.... :) HH: what is a clinical epidemiologist? LOL

  
  
• NS "All I would know is what I had seen on tv, read in the papers, heard on the news etc" true! "ala, dr gigi buat ape jek, tampal gigi, wat gigi palsu, cbt gigi org, braces" once i'm part of it, it's way more than that :)

  
  

Tips for Rabies and Chicken Pox Vaccine

Recently, a patient requested rabies vaccine because of a dog bite. I looked at the 'bite', it was just bruising and there was no break in the skin, thankfully.

I prescribed the patient tetanus vaccine, but the patient was adamant about getting the rabies vaccine. I was honest, I have never prescribed it before, I told the patient. I needed to check with other doctors and get back to ...the patient if it was necessary. Somehow, this did not reassure the patient but I knew I was doing the right thing.

It turns out, after discussing with some friends, that rabies vaccine is not given unless the incident happened near Thailand, because we don't have rabies in Malaysia (if anyone knows differently, please enlighten me). And if the vaccine is needed, it has to be ordered from Singapore.

Then I had another patient who presented with vesicular rash and fever due to chicken pox and the patient asked if there was a vaccine. Yes, there is but it works only 80% of the time in someone who has not been exposed to the virus.

I had chicken pox when I was fourteen and I can still remember how horrible it was. Feeling itchy everywhere all the time, in one word it was 'suffering'. One of my sisters 'brought it home' and when she was better, everyone else then started to get the rash (there were three of us, my eldest sister had left for England and so escaped the harrowing experience). The sister who was first sick was stigmatised, no one wanted to be near her, she was also at one point delirious from the high fever, that was kind of scary. My youngest sister looked at the mirror at the peak of her illness and cried because of the rash. Yup, it looked pretty horrible.

And my late dad developed shingles and an eye infection, which was bad. So all of us suffered. We spent about 2 weeks off from school and work being miserable at home.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine who was at that time a senior lecturer/colleague at a public university, kept nodding off to sleep during a meeting. This wasn't the colleagues usual behaviour (unlike me, I tend to sleep in meetings that are boring, I just cant help it). It turned out her second youngest child who was about 4 years old had chicken pox, so she was staying up all night comforting the child. Her worry was that the other children will catch it next especially the baby. Thankfully, our paediatrician friend advised to have the other children vaccinated and they didn't fall ill.

And so, I was very happy to vaccinate all three of my children against chicken pox even though the vaccine does not work 100% of the time. If I had the choice myself, I would have taken the vaccine. All three of my children were vaccinated. Unfortunately for my eldest, Zakaria (names have been changed to protect privacy), did get chicken pox when he was in standard one but it was mild and my other two children didn't get it from him, hence breaking the cycle.

Do I recommend the vaccine? Yes. Is it compulsory? No.

Dr VP: rabies vaccine only available in countries with outbreak...or high risk...we don't have an endemic/epidemic here...so not necessary...alwasy ask whose dog it was and if it was vaccinated,if its a house dog or stray...if its a stray ask for signs of aggresiveness,drooling etc...if they saw it...alwasy caution the patient what to watch out for in 24 hours...i read on article in JAMA how one tourist got bitten in GOA by a pup and developed coma due to rabies 5 months later...so again depends on viral load and progress...the patient died!

rabies vaccine has its own side effects as well. and for chicken pox even after you vaccinate children can develop it...doesn't give 100% immunity from it...but less symptoms and suffering :o

Dr SC: For rabies vaccination is only if you have a high suspicion or you don't have the dog symptoms will appear in the dog in about 5 days from onset of the disease but will take about 14 days to appear in humans rabies vaccination is also fraught with high side effects

Dr RHCL: I don't believe that you guys do not have rabies in Malaysia! :) BTW, if you have high suspicion of rabies, you should also consider rabies immunoglobulin injection.

RF: I had experience with rabies vaccine before, but not me, was my cat. My cat was a stray cat originated from Wangsa Maju area, when I moved back to Sabah, Jabatan Haiwan Sabah insisted my cat must have rabies vaccination done before it can obtained the health certificate. Futhermore, it should be quarantined for 3 months when it reached KK. The reason given by the officer at JH was...Sabah has no rabbies case, but WM has...

Dr VP: probably sporadic cases..unreported...but alll animals require vaccine when travelling..even bats can carry rabies...including rodents and all furry critters...

Dr SP: Australia was rabies free until 3 months ago, a boy died from ot after a bat bite in queensland. based on that, i assume sporadic isolated cases might be lurking near the Thai border and the Kalimantan Sabah border.

Dr SYS: You can get rabies vaccine fr tung shin hospital or GH. I think there are sporadic cases but the last report is long time ago. That why most of overseas health authority still recommend rabies vaccination if come to Malaysia. Tung shin has it as many foreigner got or continue their vaccination there.